What is the Meaning of Struggle?

It’s my childhood.  Most of the time I spent it with family, maybe way too much , they occasionally shared how life was not easy for them , how grandparents made that move from one place to another for better luck and future. Skipping meals and teaching children, studying restlessly in the American Cultural Centre and developing peptic ulcer disease, were the peaks of the stories.

What gives me the right, to enjoy all the good things in life like,good home and security, when I have not done anything significant to obtain it till now?  Should I blame the circumstances, the chromosomes that brought me to a cozy living? Just to satisfy my theory should I ask my parents to leave in the gutter so that I could rise from there?

I was an Infant then, merely able to walk. I did not have a chance, to run away from home, to become someone, who made it in the world just on her own.  In today’s modern and much globalised world one gets scrutinized for different reasons, I am stuck in this world where people think that I get everything that one finds it difficult to obtain.

I don’t know if the majority of the people feel the same way as I do. Just giving an instance of Bill Gate’s children, they get everything reasonable that they desire just because their father is a billionaire.  Are they making their life on their own? They might after getting an expensive degree from a renowned college but prior to that they will get scrutinized for how they get things done at a quicker rate.

Yes, I did get everything but I am not proud of the fact that I accepted it without any hindrance. I could say no, runway and make money on my own. “What’s the use of all our sacrifices if my children can’t gain from them?” a typical reply every time when one tries to bring this topic.

I live with a scrutiny, but I have been hungry for struggle. Maybe after this degree, people can actually see how much struggle one wants to do. Those stories from childhood anchors me to the ground.I will always remember the fact that I come from a middle class family from a small locality in Bouddha , Mahankal who knows exactly what the meaning of struggle is!

Should Doctors Ask Their Children To Be Doctors?

There is a general predisposition for children who have doctors as their parents to be doctors. So why does this happen? 

Children mimic their parents from early childhood.  As they see their parents put their blood and sweat into their work they gradually get accustomed to the daily medical life.  What is a medical life?  

Medical life is not much of an extra-ordinary life; it’s a normal life that a med and future doctor lives. A life, which involves periodic night duties and endless clinical hour time. It requires grading examination every now and then. This life is an endless hurdle of examinations and re examinations. It’s likely that one cannot make much time for child care.

 When both parents are reputed doctors in their own fields, there is likely chance that their children may experience attention deficit problems. Do you give enough time to your children?  People who develop their childhood under such circumstances can comprehend their lifestyle in a similar manner since they have been accustomed to it since early childhood, that’s why they decide to get into med school but there are exceptions.  

A surgeon’s child seems to know more details about a particular topic because he viewed that  procedure when he was just 10 years old and still does when he is with his father. Do doctor’s children have better clinical eye? Early exposure of books and med terms in the house will definitely help them edge further in this field. But eventually it’s the practice and practical work that makes a doctor reputed rather than the hereditary genes.

 Question of asking your child to be a doctor is a very unusual question, because at first it’s about what the child wants and not what we want.  Many meds want their children to be doctors. When asked why they would present that option to them, some said that they wanted their children to face to same experiences and difficulties that they felt over the years and will do in the future.

At first, a child’s first right is education, what he/she chooses is their option. What we can do is explain the details of the struggle that one has to do from med school to the actual job work. The path is very long and tedious; one needs to make many sacrifices. If a child understands the implications of this profession then it’s their choice.

I see why parents who are doctors force their children to be doctors, it’s partly because they want their dynasties to grow. It’s a profession of immense pride and hard work, the respect that you earn over the years makes it even more attractive and it does make the subject more lucrative from a child’s point of view.

What would you do?

Stephen Hawking: Women are the biggest mystery in the Universe

There are different sets of women in this world. I am categorizing the ones that I have crossed over my life.

Before I start, let me describe the fact that women have a dozen hormones in their bodies which makes them the individual that they are.

The Strong One: I am talking about the physically strong and mentally strong individuals, who don’t take “No” for an answer. These people can hide pain and suffering.

The Sweet One:  These people are utterly sweet, because they have the right balance of hormones in their body. These people are hidden gems. They don’t usually turn on your radar because the other category of people catches your eye first.

The Ultra Beautiful One: These girls have the right amount of hormones and have the most amazing complexion and body. But here’s a glitch to it, it comes with attitude; an inborn attitude which is their defense in this world.

The Tom-Boy One: These girls are just waiting for the right moment, to grow into beautiful ladies and they usually flourish into the Ultra Beautiful One.

The Pseudo-Strong One: These women appear to be strong to the external world, but deep down under they are the sweet ones. They suppress the sweet nature for their own defense.

The Child like One: These girls will never grow up. Growing up is a natural process, but they dislike the idea of growing up.

The Ultra Sensitive One: Now, these people have serious hormone issues, they get hurt by trivial issues and usually burst into tears after an incidence. Go get checked seriously!

The Jealous One:  Shakespeare was so true to say this “Jealousy is the jaundice of the heart/soul”. They only obsess about people.  They completely focus their life into other people’s business. This, I would say, is a psychological problem. Live and Let live!

The Obsessive One: Well talk about love, for studies, they obsess profusely. God Bless their Lovers! You will have to deal with the constant phone calls.

The Arrogant One: Doest take active positive criticism from anyone. Life is what they think is right.

The Marriage Obsessed One: Get a grip girl, why do you even think about that? When you can swim across several oceans in one life time!

The Ultra Modern One: They give a damn about what the society has to say.  They always succeed at what they do! I kind of like this group.

The Boyfriend Obsessed One:  They usually don’t give a crap about the Girlfriends that they have.  Their whole universe is about their precious BF.

Seriously, I have some more categories, but let’s conclude to this much.

My message to men: can’t understand your bitter half/ girl? Try learning some details about female signs and hints.

I completely disagree with Stephen Hawking, women are completely understandable, it’s just that men need to understand the periodic cyclical change that happens in women and treat accordingly.

Give love, Give Your wallet, Give your faith, there you go!

Happy Loving People!

When? : An Observational Post

I have to say we are the only medical college in Bangladesh that has a two day weekend. When the fifth year days near up, the second day of the weekend gets consumed by lectures and wards. But for now, the two day weekend is bliss in its own way. Nobody visits the hospital during this time unless you need to get some blood tests done or fix an appointment with a doctor.

So I was waiting in an air conditioning room for the blood drawl process.  A very pretty lady caught my eyes. Bengali girls are very pretty in their own ways, the same I cannot say for men. She was carrying this over sized baby in her arms. I am assuming that she is 19-20 years old, judging by the shape of the pelvis. Not that I can actually judge by the looks of the pelvis, I am just stating that women’s age can be determined by the size of the pelvis. This is my forensic medicine knowledge that is talking.

Now, let me take you back to this woman. She seems really young for her age. Her husband, I am assuming to be in his 30’s, this I am purely guessing by the amount of crease that he had on his forehead. And so this made me wonder, people marry according to age and age is a huge factor. The guy has to be elder, about 5-10 years elder than the girl. You rarely see this pattern of women who marry men of the same age. How many people do you know who have married someone who is of the same age?

The other point that I seemed to notice in that women was that she was exhausted, assuming by the deep dark circles around her eyes. I kept wondering, anemia? Or a new pregnancy? Well most people rely on a technique called lactational amenorrhea. When the baby starts sucking  the mother’s milk, the sucking action inhibits some hormones called FSH and LH that usually cause ovulation and hence the mother is less likely to get pregnant. I kept wondering, did this technique fail and henceforth, she is here for her regular antenatal check up?

Beneath those dark circles, I see a silent pain. I usually can tell when one has a pain, by the look of the body language, attitude towards one another etc, usually I stay silent for the other person to open up to me. But yes, I saw a trapped girl, this is what I say when I see young girls, who get married at a very young age.

In the olden times, I meant the last few decades ago, people taught their daughters that, the sole reason why you should live in this world is to please your husband, look after the house and to look after the husband’s parents. They imprint these psychological stories in the girls mind and henceforth she does not know what life is actually about.

Even in the 21st century, you see girls getting married at a young age, giving birth, and settling life to low expectations. When will this end? When can we see girls moving above marriages and husbands? When?

Happy Birthday Baby!

It was the baby that I was so delighted to see, all curled up, crying to catch his first breaths. I followed the baby to another room where they clean this delicate creature. His umbilical cord is further shortened and he is draped around some clothes that his mother has placed before.

I turned back to the mother, tell her that it’s a boy and see smiles. She asks me to call the father. I obey her orders and call the father inside the operation room, only to get screamed at for calling the father. Fathers are not allowed to enter the delivery room. The father takes a small glimpse of the baby and he goes away.

His wife is still in the lithotomy position getting stitches for the episiotomy. Episiotomy is an incision which is done in the perineal wall, to increase the opening of the delivery passage so that the baby can easy pass. Her baby becomes a showpiece to the entire family.

I had many opportunities to watch this process when I was in third year and forth but yet today had to be the day when I first viewed a delivery. I am trilled, I did not panic. The process is revolving in my head again and again. I wonder how they do it. How can they cut the perineum like as If it’s a piece of paper?

The entire time, there were several midwives who assisted the mother, asked her to push and gave her uterine massage. Why can’t the father be there too? He should be present!  He is responsible for this as well!

Why can’t men in our part of the world, come forward to the delivery room to actually view and support the women of their life experiencing pain and endurance? If you are a man then be a part of this process, you have to remind yourself that a women bears twice the difficulty that you can handle and respect her for that and abide with her.

She was just 19 years old, yet she endured very less pain for a primigravida ( first time mother). We had to leave before the skin stitches were completed. I thank her for letting us view this entire process, which has imprinted in my mind.

Happy Delivery People!

Also Read : Care To Learn About Delivery ?